Has Anyone Seen My Brain? I'd Like It Back, Please.

Before I had kids, I used to be, as my husband's grandfather would say, "sharp as a tack." I never had to look up the phone number of a friend or family member. It was just in my head. I never forgot a birthday or anniversary - didn't even need to write them down. I never missed an appointment, was never late to a meeting, always had everything I needed with me.

Then, I became a mother.

Now, I can't ever find my cell phone. Remembering a birthday? Forget about it. Missing a meeting? It's become a regular occurrence.

And it's not surprising, really. When I think about all the things I am trying to keep in my head at any given moment, it's shocking that I even remember to put my shoes on when I walk out of the house. Last night was a perfect example. Sam woke up crying at 2 am, so I went in to check on him, and when I got back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep. So here's what was going through my head: Let's see, tomorrow's Thursday, that means Noah has basketball after school. I have to remember to have him wear his sneakers. Oh, shoot! His lace broke, I'll have to replace that in the morning. Oh, and it's sharing tomorrow, have to remember to send in his sharing item. I can't remember what letter it has to start with. Where did I put the paper where it said what the letter of the day was? I'll have to look in the morning. Sam's 9 months old tomorrow. Oh, damn! I forgot to schedule his nine month checkup at the pediatrician. Oh, and Noah's allergist appointment is tomorrow. I have to remember to bring his allergy testing results. And I can't forget to ask him to refill Noah's prescription. How am I going to remember that? I never will. Wait, tomorrow is Thursday? Shoot, it's that kid Ben's birthday, in Noah's class. I have to get a gift for his party this weekend. When can I get to the toy store? Maybe Friday morning. Oh, no, wait, I have to be home to wait for the cable guy Friday morning. Did I ever confirm that appointment? I can't remember. I need groceries, too. Maybe tomorrow after I drop Noah at school I can get groceries. We need eggs, bread, milk...oh, damn! Noah is all out of yogurts for his lunch. I was supposed to get more today. He's going to freak out if I tell him we're out. Maybe I can stop on the way to school if we leave a few minutes early. Wait, did I switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer? Oh, no, I don't think I did. Ugh, the clothes get so gross when they're in the wash overnight. I'll have to run them again in the morning. Oh, and I have to remember to finish updating my resume tomorrow and send it to that organization that was looking for freelancers. Oh, shoot! I forgot I have a nine o'clock appointment with that career counselor. I wonder if Grant can take Noah to school tomorrow. Should I wake him and ask him? Maybe I can call her from my cell phone on the way home....ugh, I wish I didn't even need a career counselor. I'm so pissed about losing my job. Damn economy. How am I ever going to find a job? I wish we never left New York. There are so many more jobs there. No, that's not true, I love it here. I wouldn't want to be back in New York. We'd all be so cramped. But at least I'd be working. Oh, wait, does Grant have that late meeting tomorrow night? He does. Shoot. That means I'm doing bathtime and bedtime alone. Darn.

I could go on, but I'll spare anyone reading this the agony. The bottom line is, this went on from 2 am to 4:30 am, when I finally was able to fall back to sleep, only to hear Sam chirping in his crib a mere hour-and-a-half later. It's no wonder I can't remember a damn thing any more. 

Bottom line? I think I'm going to ask my husband to get up with Sam in the middle of the night when he cries. Because once that brain of mine gets turned on, there's just no getting it back to sleep. Guess that's just another part of what motherhood is all about!

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