Three Cheers for the Garden State

It was a very long time ago, but my memory of the incident remains crystal clear. My two young children and I were enjoying a brief vacation in Disney World. The rides were as much fun for me as they were for the kids. What artistry there was in every last detail.  And staff members (not only Mickey and Donald) connected with visitors in a welcoming way.

The incident that sticks in my mind occurred when we boarded a boat for a special ride. The Captain asked each group aboard to name its home state.  When my two proudly called out, “New Jersey”, everyone laughed and laughed even louder when the Captain offered, “Don’t feel bad. We won’t hold your New Jersey roots against you!”

My children were stunned and a little bit hurt. They were proud of their state; and no one had ever questioned their pride before. Later while sharing a tank of popcorn, I tried my best to explain why N.J. had become a national joke, mostly among people who had never gotten off the Turnpike to see the real “Garden State”. Hearing people pronounce N.J. home evoked the question, “What Exit?”.  But that only meant the listeners were ignorant of our state’s fine qualities, including its generous spirit.

Today, I am especially proud of the news that N.J will be supporting (and that means funding in hard times) preschool programs, particularly for children of poverty. Our governor, Jon Corzine, had hoped to provide all day pre-school for all of N. J.’s children. That hope will have to be compromised.  There will not be funding enough for all. But the Governor understands the potential life long benefits of a good preschool experience. He plans to use federal stimulus funds and an additional 25 million already set aside for preschool programs. Since the funds are still limited, he plans to focus on the most needy---the most at risk kids.  While many other states are cutting back on preschool programs, N. J. is enriching theirs. Hip hip hurray for the Garden State.

Whose Bragging Rights?

It’s been some time; but I know I did share at least one story about my oldest grandchild’s social skills.  It’s the honest truth that he began to reach out to other people the minute he emerged from the womb. I saw him about 10 minutes later when he was being wheeled in a newborn’s warmer to get his wrist I.D. (My son-in-law wouldn’t let the newborn out of his sight until that I.D. was secured.) But the little boy himself was busy looking the world over, making eye contact, bundled up but bursting with the energy to reach out and “touch someone”.

A few years later at a community pool, he approached a little girl about his size.  “Hi, what’s your name?” he asked without a hint of shyness.  The other child responded, “Marianne”.  “Oh, hi, Marianne. I’m ‘B’, the landscaper.”

When he was about 8 and just entering a new school, he knocked on the door of the athletic director. “Excuse me, Mr. M”, he said apologetically; “I hope I am not disturbing you. I am BB; Just wanted to say ‘hello’, and tell you how happy I am to be at ______ (school’s name).  His parents were shocked and unequivocally denied having suggested that he do this.  It was all his idea and the first they had heard of it.

Now he has a two year old cousin, who is showing similar signs of social precocity. When his family of four goes out to eat, L often flirts with the diners at the next table, and often breaks out with easy introductions. “This is Mommy; this is Daddy;  that is C., and I am L.”

Handshakes and self-conscious smiles all around among the adults. The origin of the socio-political ease shared by these first cousins is a mystery to us all. Grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles alike, protest, “He doesn’t get that from me!”

Whatever it’s genetic source, it’s a very special gift.

Brother, Can you Spare a Cup

This is really puzzling to me. Something must have happened when I wasn’t paying attention to the waves of cultural changes affecting every day life.  I am too busy focusing on newspapers barely clinging to life, books and music finding their way to the internet’s instant cost-free availability, wondering what to do with my Webster’s all print dictionary. Probably I’ll keep it for old times’ sake, as I did my Selectric typewriter gathering dust for years before I moved and threw it on the truck of “1-800 Junk” along with an old black and white tv set. There is a fine line between Junk and retro-ware status. I’m sure I always pick the moment before my junk would have become a valuable piece of memorabilia to discard it.  But that’s water over the dam, and not my focus today.

What I want to know now is whatever happened to the plain plastic bathroom cup. I have been searching the vast canyons of mini-malls, the big chain pharmacies, the rare independent drug stores, the “we have everything for the home” chains, even the going out of business novelty stores that always answered “Yes” to any question that began with “Do you carry…?”.  What has happened that I missed? Have Americans given up on rinsing their teeth after brushing?  Are they sucking mouthwash directly from the bottle?  How do they take their plethora of pills, vitamins and cure or prevent-alls?

Confession: I did find a plastic bathroom cup in one large home styles store; but it was made in China and labeled “not safe for the dishwasher”.  Couldn’t risk that one.   Well, anyway, whatever cultural force has crushed the market for bathroom cups in America, it has yet to hit China. When Chinese plastic cups disappear entirely from our marketplace, we will know another mysterious, yet very bad blow has befallen the world economy.

Surprise! Good News For a Change… Sort Of !

No it’s not an April Fools’ joke---rather some unexpected good news. A recent survey of teenagers revealed the fact that most kids choose their own parents as favorite role models. Friends and coaches and teachers are not even close seconds.

This survey conducted by Junior Achievement and Deloitte confirms similar findings from past research.  So despite all the verbal rebellion, tough talk and crankiness, adolescents admire their parents, worry about their own ability to live up to parental standards and achievement, value parents’ views.

This puts a different sort of burden on parents. Their own ethical conduct is being closely watched and mirrored by their children, despite protests to the contrary. I wonder if there is any connection between the apparent low point in business ethics during the current moment in history and the fact that these same polled teens in large numbers confess to unethical conduct.  What’s more, almost 40 % believe it’s necessary to break the rules in order to succeed.

We’d better clean up our business and professional acts, not to mention demand of ourselves decency in interpersonal involvements if we want to see the next generation raise standards of behavior. What’s at risk is the ability to trust anyone at all in any situation.