Around the Kitchen Table

We’ve heard a lot about the proverbial “kitchen table” during two long years of political campaigning. Now there is a different reason to consider it the focal point of family life, and that idea is supported by some pretty convincing research. Here’s the not so surprising news: being there for family meals is important in a multitude of ways.

The Society for Research in Child Development (SRCD), an esteemed interdisciplinary organization of scientists, has put together a published report about the benefits of family meals taken together; and the list is impressive.

Although the average family meal lasts a brief 20 minutes, showing up for it has a huge influence on child behavior and development. Here are some sample findings:

• “Teens who eat 5 or more meals a week with their families are less likely to smoke or use marijuana or alcohol.”
• “Children who take part in regular family mealtimes have more vocabulary growth and higher academic achievement than those who don’t.”
• Family diners are also less likely to be obese or have eating disorders in the Tween years.
• Eating together with family is positively associated with fewer behavior problems in young children.
• Meals prepared at home tend to be lower in calories and fat than restaurant meals and to include more fruits and vegetables.
• The positive effects of meal sharing are negatively affected by watching TV while eating.
• Only about 50% of American families eat together 3-5 times a week and almost half of them have TV available in the eating area.
• “Shared mealtimes, including conversation, rather than screen sharing, are …a barometer for” (not only individual members’ well being) but also” for the broader community’s health.

SO, PULL UP A CHAIR; PASS YOUR PLATE;  BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Brotherly Love?

I figure that I am entitled to brag shamelessly about any or all of my grandchildren, let’s say every 10th blog.  In fact, such a ratio seems to demonstrate remarkable restraint.

So, this week, I am going to use that privilege with tidbits from the most recent visit of my two youngest grandsons, ages: 4 ¾ and 22 months. The brothers have a pretty predictable relationship---involving some territoriality, but they also enjoy a lot of amusement from each other and a readiness to engage each other in play. Are they competitive?  You bet. Do they get a great belly laugh from each other’s antics? No doubt about it. And not just the old “slipping on a banana peel” induced laughs. Sharing amusement is common for these two.

There is no question that the older boy sees it as his perogative to define the limits of individual rights and common turf; while the younger sticks to standing up for himself.  For example, one evening, a game got started involving combing Daddy’s hair. Each son had a comb and was defining his own territory in Daddy’s short short crown.  It didn’t need combing at all, it never does; but that’s beside the point. Things got a little rowdy, and later when the oldest was preparing for bed, he interpreted the event. “L thinks that you are just HIS Daddy. But you’re not.  You’re MY Daddy too”.

This observation assumes that the 4 year old had accepted the necessity of sharing Daddy. Or was he trying to get Daddy’s agreement that their father does indeed belong to both boys?

There is always a ratio of advantage, involving age, developmental markers, and the cuteness factor, generally favoring the little one. Some younger siblings are more stalwart and don’t easily succumb to teasing about their size, skills, non-primogeniture rights. So when C calls L a baby, L calmly corrects him: “I am not a baby; I am a Toddler”. And his tone is quite serious, suggesting pride. He hooks his thumbs to his overall straps and stands tall.

Can’t argue with that!