A mind of her own

A mind of her own

Well, it was a very different Fourth of July holiday. A friend whom we had seen now and then over the years was our invited houseguest. A well-read, educated and sophisticated New Yorker, as much a devotee of the Tuesday Science section of the New York Times as I am and a wonderful storyteller, she was a delightful guest who helped out unceremoniously.

We enjoyed her company. But we were astonished by her revolutionary ideas about health practices, considering her awareness of media reports about health issues. She just recently quit smoking and only because it was no longer allowed inside her office, in most restaurants, and most public buildings. So her giving up cigarettes had little if anything to do with the health warnings that are an old story by now. She also made it clear that she is absolutely opposed to root canals—has so advised her dentist, saying “out with the tooth” rather than undergo that treatment.

She won’t hear of budging on that position, or on her dictum, “No colonoscopy, ever!" Virtually every grandparent/reader of the Science Times and many who are not so well informed on the preventative benefits of undergoing that unpleasant experience every 5 or 7 years accept their doctor’s recommendation. “It’ll never happen!” insists my recalcitrant friend. She is also opposed to exercise and hates skimmed milk, vegetables, and fish.

But perhaps the biggest “No-No” she presented to us: She will have "nothing to do with seat belts, hates 'em." So in driving around our small town and even the long highway trip to get here, she was seatbelt-less. She buckles the thing, and sits on it, then makes it clear, this too is non-negotiable.

Of course, she is vibrant, the picture of good health. We couldn’t reform her diet or her position on medical and dental procedures, but what about driving her around without a seatbelt? I was glad when the three of us were in the car, so she could at least sit in the back; but it’s the law and we’re responsible, are we not? At least when my grandchildren are guests, I can insist on our rules!

What do you do with a mentally alert, energetic, and rebellious grandparent other than tighten your own belt and drive carefully?

July 29, 2008

It's a girl!

It's a girl!

Birth is on my mind these days. That's easily explained. First of all my birthday was a few days ago, and I got loads of cards, calls, emails, many more than are warranted on a not very significant birthday number. But I loved the attention and the genuineness of the warm wishes.

The big reward came 19 minutes after my birthday when a new great-niece was born. It's big in our family to be born on a relative’s birthday. I am one of the few who until now, had no family member to (almost) share my birthday. Three hundred and sixty-five possible days and yet many of my extended family members do have a relative birthday partner; and I’m not counting twin nieces who do, as a matter of fact, share a birthday with yet another cousin. Not only does it seem to be fashionable to share a birthday in our extended family, but it is also cool to be born on a holiday or very close. We have claimants for the Fourth of July, Valentines’ Day, Christmas, among others. Rather than feeling superseded by the shared holiday, our family’s birthday celebrants seem to enjoy the holidays’ fanfare, as if it were part of the celebrating of them. Why not!

For this grandmom and great-aunt, nothing is more joyous than the arrival of a completely new and unique person in our midst. So I formally welcome our Ella, all seven pounds nine onces and 21 inches of her. She’s a beauty with rosy cheeks, a sweet cry and a shock of black hair (enough for a pony tail, though it is not likely to last in quantity or that uncharacteristic color for her gene pool). She has a chance for a wonderful life, with loving parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and most of all, two big brothers, who, so far, are in awe of her.

No wonder. Welcoming a new baby is as awesome as it gets for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and, of course, sisters and brothers.

July 13, 2008

Three cheers for four

Three cheers for four

There is something special about the age of four. That's a silly thing to say, since there is something special about every age to observers of children's growth and development — particularly those who also happen to be grandparents. Obviously, my love and devotion don't lessen as my grandchildren graduate to kindergarten or middle school. But four is such a fun age for grown-ups who love whimsy and marvel at the emergence of verbal play and other signs of mental expansion.

Fours' premises may be not always be realistic, but after a whimsical starting point, their thinking strides are astonishing. All this is a prologue to a story about my currently 4-year-old grandson, who "got to thinking."

He's the same guy who tries to straighten out his 15-month-old brother's seeming confusion about names. Well, our 4 year old had obviously been thinking about how well he was succeeding in the tutelage of the “baby,” who is now sort of walking and certainly talking, relating, interacting, and making his feelings well known to all.

Big brother clearly noticed. In fact, he approached his mom one day and said, "I think we need to have another baby now." When Mommy inquired about what had led him to that conclusion, he said, "Well [he often starts sentences with "Well" lately], I think I have taught our baby everything I know. So now I need another littler baby to teach." In other words, "My work is done here; this guy has become a person in his own right."

Mommy couldn’t resist asking where the family would get another baby. The 4 year old confidently responded, "From your tummy, of course." Mommy was impressed, but so far, not persuaded. Stay tuned!

July 1, 2008