Little Comments Go A Long Way

I stress keeping things as simple as possible because raising kids is very complicated these days.   From pregnancy complications to an increase in childhood disorders, moms can literally make themselves sick with worry.   And, believe me, I have.  I am one of those moms that looks up everything on-line.  I’m constantly researching the web for information and advice about my kids.  Even without the internet, worrying about every aspect of your child is a natural state of motherhood.   As a result, I have begun to cherish some of the simple comments I've heard over the years that have helped me have a little more perspective, and a little less worry.  I’m a big fan of these one-liners because they have served to remind me to keep it simple.  If you have a friend, or you yourself, are feeling overwhelmed by motherhood, here are two "keep-it-simple" comments that might help.   

“He’s the picture of health and happiness.”  This was said by my husband’s grandfather about Sam when he was 8 months old.  I totally recommend it and think it’s the best compliment you could possibly give to a mother about her child.  Moms are constantly wiping hands, sterilizing toys, distributing healthy snacks, etc., Every mother works hard to keep her kids healthy.  We fault ourselves if we don’t put on enough sunscreen, or we weren’t quick enough in preventing something dirty from entering their mouths.  Yes, we dress our kids as cute as possible, and love hearing how adorable they look.  But let’s face it, it’s making sure they are physically and emotionally healthy that keeps us up at night.  Since Sam was a preemie, this comment was especially meaningful to me.  Born at 3 lbs 3 oz, Sam spent the first six weeks of his life in intensive care.  A sight I will never forget.  I vowed to do everything in my power to prevent him from stepping foot in a hospital again.  I was completely germa-phobic when it came to him.  This simple, casual comment from Great Grandpa, filled me with a sense of relief that all my efforts in caring for Sam actually showed.  Something clicked after he said that and I became a little less obsessive from that point forward.  We always hear babies described as cute, pudgy, adorable, big, and small, etc.  Try telling a new mom her baby looks healthy and happy… I guarantee she’ll beam with pride.  

“If you’re looking for a disorder, you’ll find one.”  This comment came from Sam and Bari’s speech therapist.  When I met her for the first time, I brought with me a list of diagnosis’ I thought might be applicable to some of Sam’s speech delays.  Having pulled an all-nighter in front of my computer- just me, my worries, and the internet late at night, I had spiraled down a black hole into a complete state of panic over how to help Sam .   I did the same thing a couple of months ago before Bari's speech evaluation.   This one-liner put all my hours of research and worry in perspective and calmed me down instantly. In addition, my husband threatened to put a lock on my computer so I can’t get internet access after 10 pm any more!   This simple statement taught me not to let my concerns overwhelm me.   Most of all, she reminded me to enjoy my children.  Simple and yet, I still had to be reminded of that...twice!  

There’s nothing wrong with learning as much as you can about how to keep your kids, healthy, happy, and developmentally on target.  Do realize, though, that there is only so much you can control. The most important thing is t to take in the pertinent information, address each of your children's needs, and try not to worry too much about the big picture.  Just keep it as simple as possible, maintain your perspective, and  make sure you are enjoying your kids the whole way through. 

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