Appreciating the Afters

Remember that storage room I mentioned in my post on summer goals? The one that is piled with stuff that I’ve been avoiding? The one I intend to attack and completely reorganize?

Well, it was driving me extra-nuts this week, so I got a little jump start on that particular goal. Let me set the scene:

We have a large table in the center of the storage room, and the general idea is that it’s a perfect Lego-playing table or model-building table or gift-wrapping table or…. Well, basically handy for any activity that benefits from a large table in a secluded room, where a certain toddler is unlikely to show up and destroy things.

(Not that I have a toddler who destroys things, of course. My example is purely hypothetical.)

The problem with the table, however, is that it was invisible. Not invisible in the magic-invisibility-cloak kind of way. Just invisible in the “piled sky-high with boxes and papers and stuff” kind of way. So my goal this week was simply to deal with the table.

And deal I did. I spent several hours sorting, tossing, reorganizing, condensing, and just plain dealing with the stuff.

In the end, I am pleased to say, the table was (mostly) cleared off. Yes, there are still two or three items that need a home, but the vast majority of the table is empty and available for anyone to use.

In the world of Decluttering Before & After, I had arrived at a pretty good After.

Here’s where I ran into trouble, though. Instead of admiring and appreciating my progress, I immediately started dwelling on another section of the room that’s bugging me. Rather than take comfort in the fact that the room was in far better shape than when I started, I got all grumpy because things weren’t anywhere near perfect.

What I should have done: Given myself some credit for this newly-created “After” in front of me.
What I actually did: Got distressed about the next “Before” that I would have to deal with.

As soon as I realized that I was just making myself miserable, I stopped, refused to think about the next storage room task, and just stared at the table in front of me. There it was: the table! I could see it! I’d taken a messy, overrun dumping ground and turned it in to a clean, usable environment. Yay, me!

Immediately, I felt relief. What’s more, I felt motivation. Acknowledging my progress and accomplishment made me feel better about my overall goals and more prepared to tackle the next project…when the time comes.

You know, there’s something to be said for taking some time out to appreciate the Afters.

Now that I think about it, I should probably spend some time appreciating the Afters along the parenting journey, too.

It seems that as soon as I overcome one hurdle, I’m already anticipating or fretting about the next one. (“We made it through the ‘terrible twos’ but now I have to potty-train this kid! How am I ever going to do that?!”)

How much better it would be if I took time to identify the progress I’ve made – big accomplishments and small ones – and just enjoyed knowing that we’re moving in a positive direction.

What about you? Do you have some parenting “Afters” you need to celebrate before moving on to the next “Before” that’s headed your way?

Did you survive a day with a toddler who would not stop screaming? Give yourself credit for the survival before you wonder how you’ll make it through tomorrow.

Did you potty-train your preschooler? I’m jealous. That’s definitely progress to be proud of!

Did you help a grade-schooler navigate the tricky seas of friendship? Acknowledge it as an accomplishment for both of you.

Did you figure out a solution for a difficult discipline issue with your teen? That definitely deserves a little pat on the back, if you ask me.

Take it from me: mentally jumping to the next Before can be stressful and unproductive. Instead, take a purposeful time-out today to see how far you’ve come and appreciate an After or two.

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Catch more of Katrina's writing and ramblings at her personal blog, Callapidder Days.

Comments

[Jennifer, Snapshot]

You're right! I do the same thing -- both in parenting and projects. It's too overwhelming to look at all that's ahead.

For that matter, thinking of all that lies behind (parenting-wise) is harmful for me too. So, I can focus on the "Afters" of "I read to my child today. I played a game today. I fixed (and they ate!) a healthy meal." I have to be happy with those small accomplishments and not worry about all that I have to do in the future (or all the things that have been undone in the past).

[bananas]

I love this post. You hit it dead-on... I am constantly focusing on the next thing rather than enjoying what I've actually accomplished. Thanks for the reminder! :)

[Lynnie]

I'm the same way with cleaning. I do one huge thing to a single room and then start thinking about how the whole rest of the house is still pretty atrocious. My new motto is: Just Clean the Downstairs. Then the "after" is a lot easier to reach!

[onlymom]

this is why i love lists. lists that breakdown BIG projects into lots of little ones. that way you get to cross things off your list more often - and increase your sense of accomplishment!